Tubing (and Vang Vieng)

So I moved on from the curfew in Luang Prabang, that had led to at least one resourceful entry after 11.30pm to a more lively town where government suggestions / laws / rules of nature seemed to go out the window.

After our long and winding bus journey we got showered and headed out for dinner. We then headed to Q BAR. Those of you who have passed through Vang Vieng will of course know that this is a classy establishment where the bourgeoisie go for cocktails of an evening. I walked to the bar and was astounded to find that the barman was from Balloch. Not because of the scarcity of Scots that I've encountered on my trip so far, but because I didn't realise that people actually came from Balloch, its always seemed more a place you go to. For the day. And leave before it gets dark. Anyway after a brief chinwag, I was recommended a "bucket" of vodka and coke. The word bucket should have been the first warning bell. The second should have come at the price. Buckets were 10 000 kip each. The current exchange rate is 13650 kip = one pound. From this you can judge the quality of the vodka. At this point I noticed the pool table in the corner and wandered over to get involved. The next few hours held the most international pool games I've ever played. I like to think that me and Nong (my Laotian doubles partner) held our own against the best England, Wales, Finland, The USA, Cambodia, France, Canada and Germany had to offer. Along the way I was given another bucket. It shouldn't be possible to be drunk on one pound fifty.

On the first full day in town, we decided that we should celebrate my amazing clear head by going tubing. For those of you not so lucky to have an iron constitution then this is definitely a kill or cure option. Basically it involves floating down the river in an old tractor tire inner tube (hence tubing). I say basically as there are several pubs at the side who lasso you as you pass and then attempt to force feed you your weight in alcohol before pushing you off tall platforms attached to a piece of rope. The first "ride" which I went on whilst still bone dry (incidentally not a good idea) involved a 15/20 metre high trapeze that swung down to about 3 metres above the water and then back into the air again. Having watched local 4 year olds doing flips as they let go I decided I had to climb up. The first rush I got was climbing up the rickety ladder to the platform. I lent on the side to recover and now I know what people mean by vertigo. I decided the best way to cure this was to throw myself off the platform. The rush in the 5 seconds I was in the air was unbelievable. So was the temperature of the water. I also discovered (for those of you wondering) that freezer bags are conclusively not waterproof, but luckily Laotian money is.

So after this I settled into a day of floating, refreshments - non alcoholic after the injuries I'd seen people sporting the day before - and adrenaline inducing swings, I reached the last bar at about five o'clock. Now the one piece of advice I was given was get off the water before dark. As sunset is about 5.50 I decided to fore go the last slide and head off for the finish line. This seemed a good plan. However dusk came and went and I was still not in sight of the finish. Then the sky cracked with ball lightning. As I was sitting there shivering in my ring, my partner in crime (the Irish stowaway from the slow boat) stopped to pick up a hitchhiker from the riverside. Now the weight of two people was enough that I sped (!) off down the river and lost sight of him completely. In the next ten minutes I'd convinced myself he has been murdered and left to float down the river by his mysterious passenger - who would no doubt steal the money I had entrusted to his dry bag.

I eventually caught up with an English girl and we got to chatting, and before I knew it we were at the lights of town. Not that I could see any point to get out of the river. Luckily I was then dragged out of the river by a four year old local girl. Unluckily (for her) as I mentioned before I didn't have any money to give her the tip she wanted (and deserved). But at least I was back on dry land.