So, you've been on a train for 12 hours overnight, whats the logical choice to do the next night?

Thats right - get on a 17 hour train!

I spent 30 hours out of 42 on a train. It could have been quite a horrible second journey, but having picked up the guys in Surratthani, we also managed to increase our group by 4 at various times hanging around in Bangkok train station. And other than the fact I didn't sleep at all on the train (due to broken seats, noisy kids and sprawling seatmates :-P) the journey was quite fun. We did run out of card games during the three hour delay though.

Spot the Tourist.....

On my way from Surrithani I met up with a group of three guys from England when our bus stopped randomly in the middle of nowhere and these two guys got on and told us that the bus was going to the bus depot but if we wanted to go the train station then this was the connection (all part of the ticket we'd paid). So I got off the bus, and it was only when only the four white guys on the bus were standing on the kerb that something was maybe a little amiss....

But with no other option we piled into the tuk tuk - which sure as hell pulled up outside a travel agent where we were told to buy our onward tickets. After asserting what they could do with this offer and there offer of providing further paid transport, we went and hailed a cab who took us the last 25km (!!) to the station for a quid each.

So kids a word of warning. never get off the bus.

Responses I'd dearly love to give but haven't had the guts yet

Tailor - Where are you from?
Me - Thailand. The very north... Its colder up there that's why I'm a bit peely waley


Tailor - Don't you need a suit for work?
Me - No I work in a naturist resort at home so there are no clothes allowed.


Man - Taxi?
Me - No, person but keep trying....


Man - You Australian? English?
Me - Nah, but don't worry you Cambodians have never been very good at this guess the nationality thing

Craig Thomson cost me my UK sim card and 35 quid.

I have to say that after the last couple of days this was going to be a mostly negative post, but today has changed my view quite a lot.

First to explain the post title. I was out on Sunday night to watch the Old Firm game, and ended up with a couple of guys having a few drinks. After the game (and the appalling decisions by the way) we had a few more and at this point we were presumably spotted as a good target by the local working girls. To cut a long story short at some point in the evening, from the inner zipped compartment of my wallet, the UK money I had left and my Sim card went walkies. I didn't realise til the next evening when I opened the once again closed zipper. But what can you do eh?

Second rant - I'm getting a bit fed up of the sex tourism here. There's only so many times I can cope with "maaaasage - happy ending" being shouted at me from a doorway as I look for somewhere to have dinner. I blame the westerners for this, but this is one area I'd say Amsterdam has the right idea in. There should be an area for the sex tourists, so that none of the rest of us have to deal with it when we don't want to.

Third rant - I'm getting fed up being on my guard 24/7 against people trying to con me because I'm not a local. Bus fares of 6x the normal being quoted to me, before I walk off and then to get called back and told a price still 3x the one I paid the day before is getting on my nerves.....

Now on to the positive things of today :-D

My attempts to rent a motorbike were put on the back burner, when after taking Rags advice I got the guest house owner to show me the ropes on our wee alley. First thing I did was crash into the iron fence at about 20km/h. Then I managed to keep trying to break while twisting the throttle. Although I'm insured, I didn't fancy being medi - vaced home.

I decided that I would get as far out of the town as possible today. I hopped on the 3rd bus I stopped (whose fair was remarkably a pound instead of the six the first driver insisted I would have to pay) and headed for the waterfall here. It was just such a lovely serene place (after I fell down the small cliff on my way there). The area was surrounded by elephants and other animals which was really cool. Although I was chased for about half a mile by a bull calf - much to the amusement of the woman who owned the cow. I'm not lying when I say that I crossed the river twice and this cow kept on coming. It began to get a little freaky, esp when it tried to charge me a couple of times - but its all fun and games....

On the way back down a Thai guy on his motorbike stopped and offered me a lift to the main road (about 1.5k) and even though I said it was OK (I was dying by this point though - the climb was almost vertical to the top) he insisted and told me it was too far to walk and that the lift was free and I was to get on. So i did.

Managed to find a great wee Thai place tonight where I did their BBQ special - the guy cooked the stuff on the strangest combi pot/grill thing that worked really well. Also tried his dessert which wasn't as good - seemed to be gelatin cubes, ice and a weird pink liquid but despite not speaking English the entire staff there were lovely the whole time.

So for anyone coming to Samui - get away from the main streets and towns as much as you can and you might meet the proper friendly Thais.

Further on Irish bars

Am I a cruel person to ask the barman in every "authentic" Irish bar which part of Ireland he's from and then smile at the bemused look the poor Thai guy gives me when he gives me my drink?

The south shall rise again....

So I've been on the islands of southern Thailand for a week now and I feel its time to give you my impressions.

Ko Tao was a disappointment I have to say. I know I'm here a little before the actual main season starts, but I thought it was a pretty unfriendly place. The dive schools seemed to be a bit cliquey, the bars had very little atmosphere and the restaurants were very businesslike and unhomely. I presume it could be the best place on the planet if you were learning to dive there, but the weather meant that I wasn't really up for that (visibility was poor according to the mental Austrian hippy I met the first night, and the aging Spanish Lothario said I should do it in calmer weather - so maybe in Cambodia)

Koh Samui is a bit better - although this place too has its problems. The beach I'm staying on (Chaweng beach if you want to check it out is SEVERELY overdeveloped. There are barely any ways you can get on and off the beach without walking through a hotel lobby. I started ten minutes outside town and was nearly at the other end of the town (35/40 minutes walk before I found the one lane to get off again).

Chaweng town seems to have no Thai identity at all. You could move it and drop it in the Canaries, or in the Costa Del Sol and its 2 McDonalds, 2 burger king, 2 subways, 3 haagen daaz cafes, and numerous "authentic Irish/British/Australian pub" would not look out of place.

I think that Thailand (and before anyone panics - I am loving it here, this is just a rant against globalisation - always fighting the man I know) will prove my theory that in all except the one obvious example the north of a country is better than the south.

I'm off to get on my bike and look for some real Thailand

Night boat / Day bike

So I spent two days at the Chumpon Palm Resort, which was absolutely gorgeous at first apperance. AND was only costing me 4 quid a night for my own room. And there's where the second glance kicked in. There were 4 guests in a massive place. One thai guy from the island i'm heading to next (currently on Ko Tao, next Samui) and then me and a 59 year old English guy who I didnt meet til the second day. AND i was as suggested earlier 20 km out of town with no transport except an unpredictable bus service.

Always being one to make the most of every situation, I had a swim and some late lunch then agreed to go squid fishing with the hotel owner. Had a great laugh, got a few ok pics. I got 3 squid, but one got me...

Anyway the next day I met Stewart (the abovementioned 3rd guest) and he tured out to be really cool. Seems he was/is the brother in law and drummer for Donavon (not jason and for those of you who like me arent sure who he is - think mellow yellow). So he offered me a lift into town, which I accepted. I then discovered that he wasnt driving, but was going on a motor bike. So at the ipe old age of 23 I climbed on a motorbike for the first time -which in thailand is a bit of an experience - but one I've since repeated twice already... Now to go back to the Ko Sahn Road and get me a liscence from that guy. if I buy his physics degrees too I might get a discount.